This is a real birthday email from my dentist.
Today Is My Birthday
And I spent part of my day holding in a fart during the leg and butt portion of a massage.
Let’s go, 33!
Robert Reich: The Fanatical GOP
The Republican Party platform, approved today, would bar abortion even in cases of rape and incest. This is basically Todd Akin’s position, but at least the GOP platform doesn’t assert that women’s bodies identify and reject rapists’ sperm.
Meanwhile, Romney’s selection of Paul Ryan provides…
She has a Ph.D. in Cuteness Studies.
The views expressed were offensive. Rape is rape. … What I think these comments do underscore is why we shouldn’t have a bunch of politicians—a majority of whom are men—making health care decisions on behalf of women.
—President Obama today on Rep. Todd Akin (via barackobama)
(via totallymorgan)
Henri Rousseau, Cheval attaqué par un jaguar (le Douanier), 1910
When a horsey and a jaguar love each other very, very much…
According to Guinness World Records, the smallest horse in the world is currently Thumbelina from Missouri, but her title is likely going to be claimed by this awesome little guy, whose name is Einstein, as soon as he turns 4, which is the minimum age requirement for the record.
Einstein lives in Gilmanton, New Hampshire with his owners, Charlie Cantrell and Rachel Wagner. He measures a mere 35 cm tall (14 inches) and weighs 2.7 kg (6lb), while Thumbelina meausres 44.5 cm (17.5 in) tall. Charlie and Rachel are pretty sure that Einstein (who was born in April 2010) has stopped growing, but even if he manages to gain another couple inches over the next two years, he’s still in great shape to claim that world record.
One of the things that makes Einstein so remarkable is that, unlike most miniature horses, he exhibits no dwarf characteristics. His proportions match those of his full-size equine friends. He really is a perfectly miniature horse.
Einstein spends his time hobnobbing with his friend Playboy, a full-size stallion, and cavorting with Charlie and Rachel’s dog Lilly as well as Hannah, the St. Bernard pictured above towering over the wee Einstein.
Charlie explains, “Playboy is owned by a young lady who lives next to our farm and Einstein sometimes meets him to have a head sniff and a simple hello. You see the adorable thing about Einstein is that he doesn’t seem to be too aware of his height at all. He approaches Lilly and Playboy just like he was a fully grown stallion. He rears up and huffs and gallops around.”
[via Dailymail.co.uk and Design You Trust]
If this was my horse I’d call him MOON PIE and all of my imagined enemies would perish with envy.
BIRTHDAY WISHLIST ITEM #1
OK, I don’t know what these are - they belonged to my grandmother and she died and now there’s nobody to ask - but I’m afraid they might be a racist little tea set… I mean, is that blackface? What do I DO with them? Smash them on the sidewalk? Help.
Jonny Svarzbein and I are doing a bit in this show next week. Check it out. Should be tons of political fun!
UM. This is maybe the best poster I’ve ever seen.
Look, I’m a million years old. So even though this has 16 million views as of this evening, this is the first time I’ve seen it. And my whole family is laughing with tears in our eyes.
I love everybody who sings along, but I will marry the 4 guys at 1:31.
Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen (Chatroulette Version) (by SteveKardynal)
OH GOD! I’d never seen this either, and I have tears STRAIGHT UP STREAMING DOWN MY FACE! My favorite, favorite, favorite part is all the confused/disgusted/dumbfounded straight dudes (many who look ready to jack it to the webcam, ah-hem) who then break into unselfconscious smiles of genuine enjoyment after five seconds. I love the laughs and smiles they didn’t know were about to happen to them.
That, and then all the girls with their best gay boyfriends.
*Ed: I just watched it again, three hours later: more streaming tears of hilarity.
fartFace: Nothing Real About "Real Women" Ad Campaigns
“Hey, let’s take a bunch of gorgeous size 10 -14 women, do their makeup so it looks like they’re not wearing makeup, and SELL SOME FUKIN’ SOAP!”
Then they have the balls to call them “real women.” Like a woman who is less than a size 10 is somehow inferior and most definitely “not real.” A…
I mean, it’s likely they’re plus-sized models. I worked with plenty of them in my time doing various jobs in fashion in NY and they’re great, beautiful, empowered women, and they’re a nice alternative to the impossibly (anorexically-bulimically possible!!!) thin women of high-fashion, but yes. These ladies are FIT. Make no mistake, they are very in-shape, they’re just women with human bones instead of birdbones. Re: the other point - that skinny women aren’t real women - I deal with this all the time. My metabolism is such that I maintain a pretty slim physique and I feel like I have to apologize for it all the time. Fielding comments like “Oh, but you’re so slim…” (said in a tone implying I couldn’t possibly have real problems because weight isn’t one of them - except it IS a problem, in that sometimes I have to be very careful because I get too skinny AND NOBODY CAN STAND IT WHEN I TALK ABOUT THAT; so I don’t.) and countering with a litany of “Oh, but you have such great boobs! Who cares?! I feel boyish.” BLAH BLAH INSECURITY BLAH comments so we can both feel better about how our bodies are different.
BUT AGAIN, back to the first point: innovative or not, blatantly capitalistic or semi-sensitive to the psychological state of the modern woman - I like these ads. I like the idea that ALL women should feel validated in their own bodies. I want all of us to adopt a new mantra (you know, instead of the constant inner loop of “I am not perfect enough, I am not beautiful enough”) and the new mantra is this:
If you don’t mind too terribly much, I’m going to like myself. And if you do mind, kindly fuck off.
Consumerism now wants you to be single, so it sells this as sexy. The irony is that it’s now more radical to attempt to be in a long-term relationship and a long-term job, to plan for the future, maybe even to attempt to have children, than it is to be single. Coupledom, and long-term connections with others in a community, now seem the only radical alternative to the forces that will reduce us to isolated, alienated nomads, seeking ever more temporary ‘quick fix’ connections with bodies who carry within them their own built-in perceived obsolescence.
The solution: Get radical, get hitched, demand commitment from partners and employers. Say no to the seductions of the disposable singles market.
My Sister Paid Progressive Insurance to Defend Her Killer In Court
I’ve been sending out some impertinent tweets about Progressive Insurance lately, but I haven’t explained how they pissed me off. So I will do that here as succinctly as possible. There’s a general understanding that says, “insurance companies— oh they’re awful,” but since Progressive turned their shit hose on my late sister and my parents, I’ve learned some things that really surprised me.
I’ll try to cleave to the facts. On June 19, 2010, my sister was driving in Baltimore when her car was struck by another car and she was killed. The other driver had run a red light and hit my sister as she crossed the intersection on the green light.
This is a horrific and unconscionable way to handle an upsetting situation, but I have an honest question: DO OTHER INSURANCE COMPANIES HANDLE THINGS DIFFERENTLY? My gut is telling me no. I’ve been a Progressive customer for eight years, and they have been pretty great any time I’ve ever had to file a claim (I’ve filed a few as I live in California). I have never had to deal with this kind of a situation personally, nor has anyone in my immediate family so I have no frame of reference, but my feeling is that if one insurance company behaves like this and gets away with it - they all do. So the question only becomes, which evil do you choose?
Too many good things to reblog right this minute.
(Source: holisticsexualhealth, via nedhepburn)
