January 2011
39 posts
Wish me good luck.
I bought $5 worth of Mega Millions quickpicks today because the jackpot is $242 million bucks. That’s $242,000,000.
Wish me luck so I can win all them decimal places.
UPDATE: I didn’t win because none of you wished me luck. But nobody won the big jackpot, so I’ll give you another chance. DON’T FUCKING BLOW IT NEXT TIME.
December 2010
37 posts
Be careful, Vince Vaughn is sensitive.
Joshua: i hear you got cold hands me: yeah bro. real cold. Joshua: bro, warm them up me: i’m trying, bro! Joshua: put em over the stove, shit, something sorry don’t know why i became so invested me: i got the heater blowin’ right at ‘em, dude Joshua: well dude, yeah do it warm it me: like milk. warm it up. Joshua: got to have them hands me: fucking essential...
I have personal things to rant about!!
But airing dirty laundry on the internet is terribly high school.
Steve SzBLOGa: Merry Christmas Ladies!Merry... →
szzzzlaga:
Merry Christmas Ladies! Merry Christmas Ladies! Merry Christmas Ladies! Merry Christmas Ladies! Now put your trees up. Up with the lights, no ones gonna fight Because it’s almost Christmas Eve Reindeer flyin in the sky, did I see Santa goin’ by? Join the carolers and sing Greensleeves. I’m be up…
I just thought of something interesting.
I know someone who is going through a separation and, from the outside, it looks like years of too much focus on a career and not enough attention towards the family has caused a rift. I’m sure it started as a small crack, and something promised to be temporary; not a huge problem but more of an irritation in the facade of the relationship. But, as things have a way of doing, the crack...
Watchfunnyordie:
The CEO of Funny Or Die is Dick Glover
Sarah Silverman recounts the story of when she first learned about FOD’s CEO.
Indeed. And when I interviewed to be his assistant, all I could think was “How the fuck am I going to answer his office phone without giggling every time?”
Thank you, today's LA Times Horoscope
You’re an awesome pep talk, and just what I need for tonight:
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Start up the quirky dream machine in your head. You have not been in a position to follow your whims or have them fulfilled, but all of that is about to change.
Hey UCB’ers: BREAK LEGS, HAVE FUN!!!
The Most Damning Wikileaks Cable You'll Ever Read →
Wow.
Things I Really, Really Like A Whole Bunch:
Permanent lingual retainers
Slight speech impediments
Day-drinking
The feeling of giddiness so strong your chest might explode
Talking to animals
Stephen Colbert’s weird ear
Plus, there’s other stuff… I just forget.
Watchryanrosenblog:
-saturdaynightlive:
SNL Promo #1 - Paul Rudd/Paul McCartney
via emcash:
Very great. Having fun is so much fun! Lets all have more fun.
Oh holy night, Samberg is 100% pro for not breaking during that last bit. I was busting my guts.
let me explain
ladybirdj:
every woman comes equipped to be challenged (at the least) and fully believe (at the most) that she will be outdone in the looks department everywhere she goes. your job as a man who loves this woman is neither to confirm nor deny this thought process. but rather to make her feel like there is no reason for her to even be thinking about it.
Wonderfully stated. I just spent five...
Shit You Should Know: Learn how to use a fucking... →
shityoushouldknow:
Please.
I don’t know if no one ever teaches punctuation or what, but unused semicolons are languishing in a New Jersey basement someplace eating Dipsy Doodles and getting flabby. Get your acts together, pube-groomers.
Semicolon (Usage #1): Use a semicolon to separate what might have been two…
Immediate Follow.
One time, McDerms asked me “Don’t you ever feel like you tweeted something so great you can’t believe it doesn’t get retweeted?”
Yes, my friend. I just did that. I’m waiting with bated breath.
“This is what makes the world boring, quite frankly: the absolute refusal to risk...”
– Linda Holmes at NPR talks about Steve Martin’s minor 92Y controversy. (via dunford)
Read this and ask “What the stupid fuck?!”
(via glamsoda)
In the immortal words of Michelle Stephanie Tanner: How rude.
Keeping Romance Alive in the Age of Female... →
thingsthatscarelaurenleto:
A couple of days ago an article came out in the NYTimes headined Keeping Romance Alive in the Age of Female Empowerment. A selected quote, “‘Men don’t want successful women, men want to be admired,’ she said. ‘It’s important to them that the woman is full of energy at night and not playing with…
I would like for you to read this rant, then read this article...
