i saw that.

Like everything else on the internet, this started out as one thing and turned into another.

Which is why any discussion of this subject requires a major caveat. Yes, women suffer consequences for their lack of confidence—but when they do behave assertively, they may suffer a whole other set of consequences, ones that men don’t typically experience. Attitudes toward women are changing, and for the better, but a host of troubling research shows that they can still pay a heavier social and even professional penalty than men do for acting in a way that’s seen as aggressive. If a woman walks into her boss’s office with unsolicited opinions, speaks up first at meetings, or gives business advice above her pay grade, she risks being disliked or even—let’s be blunt—being labeled a bitch. The more a woman succeeds, the worse the vitriol seems to get. It’s not just her competence that’s called into question; it’s her very character.

—Katty Kay & Claire Shipman - The Confidence Gap, The Atlantic



This is my favorite beach in Los Angeles.

This is my favorite beach in Los Angeles.

Yes I will learn this whole dance with you and we’ll be best friends literally forever.


Need condoms? Right there in the fucking aisle in a supermarket or CVS.
Need female birth control? Nah bruh, need a prescription and the consent of the lord Jesus Christ amen

(via lindsaykatai)

A relationship that was very important to me recently ended and, though I have a history of getting these things wrong, I really thought this one would last. I’ve been struggling to to find an elegant way to express my feelings, but with little success. So here it is, inelegantly:

This sucks.



if your most formative relationship left you feeling “less than” pretty much the entire time and you had no idea what was going on all the time and you physically suffered over it, i’d strongly recommend overcorrecting with some anxious midwestern goofball even if you’re a jackass enough to confuse any level of comfort with boredom because you might not ACTUALLY be bored, you might just not know how to react when something is nice and comparatively easy.



…because when I was a girl I learned that if my mother (a woman) didn’t do as my father (a man) wished, she’d get the crap beaten out of her. And, there came a day that I finally learned how to hit a button on our home phone (which was mounted high upon a wall) that I could call my grandmother…

Really.  Nobody in the design studio was like “Uh, that’s a crack pipe.”

Really.  Nobody in the design studio was like “Uh, that’s a crack pipe.”

Katai Blerg: Life Hack


Make work the only place you keep peanut butter cups. That way, it’s not just the place that’s hollowing you out from the inside. It’s the place that’s hollowing you out from the inside that has peanut butter cups!

It’s a cute little motivator to get you to keep living this shadow play of a…


And here is CODEFELLAS Episode 9, with MOOD MUSIC!